Seasons Turn Gracefully From The One That Kills Old People To The One That Kills Homeless People

Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA An alarming MRI shows that Peyton Manning has been dead for 6 months, the Mariana Trench is once again named the worst place to raise children, and a man smoking an e-cigarette must be a futuristic bounty hunter. It’s the week of November 14, 2013. Like The Onion […]

White House Thrilled With Record Number Of People Who Thought They Signed Up For Healthcare

Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Obama announces the start of the annual D.C. Spooktacular, a weird man begins every morning by dousing his naked body in water, and a 5-year-old reluctantly lets his crying mother sleep in his bed again. Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonionFollow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonionMore Breaking News: […]