Study: Nation’s Third-Graders Now Eating At A Ninth-Grade Level

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A local man feels even lazier when he thinks about how much ISIS has accomplished this year, a police officer doesn’t see a difference between black and light-skinned black suspects, and a weak-willed termite eats a whole log in one sitting. It’s the week of August 15, 2014.

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Comment (124)

  1. First? Wowza. That's never happened before… Onion satire jabs the gut with rusty forks and sporks! But thankfully The Onion motivates people with it's horror.

  2. The Onion's YouTube videos aren't as funny as the old ones that was modeled after real news. I remember videos like the Prison Economy. Now, that one was hilarious. They need to start making their videos in that style again.

  3. Hey, if you've ever posted a comment that goes like this: "is this even satire", "I thought the onion was fake", you're not funny. You're not being original. You're not clever. You're annoying, for the reasons just given. You know what's funny? NEW. ORIGINAL.

    "I thought the onion was satire" isn't even a clever way to disguise the fact that you're trying to make a joke about real world events. A rock could see through your attempt at humor and originality.


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