Hashtags: #StonerStories

Jimmy reads his favorite tweets with the hashtag #StonerStories.

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The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon features hilarious highlights from the show including: comedy sketches, music parodies, celebrity interviews, ridiculous games, and, of course, Jimmy’s Thank You Notes and hashtags! You’ll also find behind the scenes videos and other great web exclusives.

Hashtags: #StonerStories
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  1. Here's my stoner story: I was high with a friend (he is easily 6ft6) we were walking across a car park, I got to the end and realised he wasn't next to me. I turned around to see him staring intently at the floor when I walked back over to him all he said was, while standing up straight and looking down, ''dude… Have you ever noticed how far away the floor is.'' 😂😂

  2. My mom, brother, and my mom's friend ate some pot brownies and they ended up laughing at everything and getting sick afterwards so once we got to the hotel my mom gave me and my other brother some money to go to Chinatown and Japantown. That was the best night ever tbh

  3. I once played Mario kart for like an hour until I realized my controller wasn’t even plugged in. I also tried to take a screenshot of a crack on my phone. I was getting confused that the pictures I took didn’t have the crack in it lol.

  4. One time I was stupid high and I was looking at my moms purse 👛 and I shit you not it looked like a bag of popcorn, and I kept digging in it and screamed “WHERES THE POPCORN ?!” 🤦🏽‍♀️

  5. My friend and I smoked at her house then decided to go get food. Once I stopped at a stop sign, I didn't realize it was a stop sign so I waited for it to turn green. I sat there for a good 2 minutes

  6. I was walking to the kitchen while singing “Cha Cha Slide” in my head and when I got to the part where it went “take it back now y’all”, I actually stumbled back three steps and almost fell down. My uncle was with me and he looked at me like I was crazy #stonerstories

  7. Me and 2 of my friends stayed up all night drinking and smoking because all three of us had to work the morning shift. We were waitresses. My one friend dropped a set of over easy eggs in a lady's purse we started laughing so hard we sat down on the floor in the middle of the restaurant because we couldn't stop laughing

  8. During the November 2018 earthquake in Alaska, a friend of mine told me about someone they knew that was on their way home and stoned (he was driving 4 blocks just after 8am) when the quake hit and the power was surging causing lights in the sky. He pulled over thinking there was a cop trying to pull him over and didnt even realize we were still in the middle of the quake.

  9. On the way home after “just hanging” with our friends and my husband asks if I think it would be a good idea to stop at the grocery store while we are out. I lean over say “uh duh” un buckle my seat belt then reach over and shut off the car and pull out the car keys from the ignition but before I jump out ready to walk into the store…..realize my husband had just pulled up to stop at a red light no where near the grocery X-X

  10. One time a friend came to my house, got too high, threw up in every room in my house and thought we had trapped and tortured him at my house for a couple days. He was there for about 45 min, start to finish😂😂

  11. Reading all these comments, I'm glad I don't smoke weed. My memory is stoner bad drug free. I decide to do something, set out to do it, then immediately forget and do something else. But hey… depression screws with the memory part of your brain… yay… and marijuana may worsen depression… yay…

  12. Got high watching conspiracy theory videos about Hitler, was convinced that Hitler was still alive and was in Antarctica, started grabbing all the canned food in the house and putting them in the basement for when he comes.

  13. A friend and I were stoned when we had an electricity blackout. We went to the kitchen and for god knows how long took turns standing tiptoe trying to light a new candlestick atop a shelf. My sister walked in, grabbed the candle by the bottom and set it down on the counter. Had she not come in, we may have been on our tiptoes till morning.

  14. Ordered on an App from a restaurant literally 2 blocks away from my house, that I usually order from. When the driver called me to ask for a location, I kept yelling at him:
    – YOU DON’T KNOW MY HOUSE?! HOW THE HELL YOU DON’T KNOW MY HOUSE?! YOU DO KNOW MY HOUSE!!!
    And the guy was silently shocked for a few seconds then said:
    – Sir, I need your location.
    So I repeated the rant again.

    This went on over and over for like 2 minutes until suddenly, he said okay I know your house. And 5 minutes later the door bell rang.
    😂

    I guess both of us were stoned!

  15. i got so baked once i got paranoid and wanted to check my pulse then i couldn't find it got a little freaked out looked over at my buddy who was driving and anxiously asked "do i have a pulse" he started laughing so hard he couldn't see and when he tried to pull over he ended up perfectly straddling the sidewalk with his truck i instanmtly realized how dumb of a question it was and we sat pulled over crying we were laughing so hard for almost 20 minutes….. good thing we are from a small town or we definitely would have been in cuffs lmao

  16. We put several strings of random flashing Christmas lights in a jar and tried to determine the pattern of the flashes. This was forty-seven years ago but I still have to laugh at it.

  17. So I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

    Only I actually didn't, I just read that on textsfromlastnight

  18. One of the first times I got high I was in a tree house and thought well, I'm going to have to live here because I don't know how to get out

  19. One time while stoned I ordered a pizza for my buddy and I and when the delivery guy came up he said, "Smells good in there." So we invited him in, we sat there smoking. A little while later my buddy asked, "Does anybody else hear music?" The delivery guy answered his phone, it was his manager. He got so stoned that he forgot about the other delivery he had to do and was at my place for 45 minutes with his car parked out front running the entire time.

  20. I zoned out while watching The Weather Channel and freaked out when I saw video footage of my mom putting suntan lotion on my little cousin. I couldn’t figure out where they got the footage from because my cousin was all grown up.

  21. Ok here’s one..but it’s drunk not high: In college I worked at Pita Pit in Orillia Ont. We had a set up at one of the local bars. I was allowed to play pool because it was right across from my booth, but I had a drink…then a friend came…and I had another and another and another. I was on the dance floor when the manager found me and was like, ‘ Uh, you have a line up of people waiting to order pitas ‘. And my reply ‘ oh shit I totally forgot I was working’. Thankfully the friend I was with also worked there so she helped me make pitas the rest of the night. I got fired from the bar location. #mixingalcoholwithwork

  22. Here's a great one… I'm a hospice nurse and was trying to help a terminal patient with "medicinal" things… We both got so messed up, we ended up in the front yard replanting all of the rose bushes from light to dark. And… Best part… The drs gave him 6 months… He lived another 3 years because we were constantly "gardening". 😂

  23. These were the best hashtags ever. Brings back fond memories. I got so high I told everyone in the car I wasn't able to drive. I was the passenger.

  24. One time we decided to play frisbee at night. It was a glow in the dark frisbee, looked so cool coming at me I stared at it right up til it smacked me in the face.

  25. These comments are great. I once thought to click on the welcome mat to open the door. Another time, to settle a friendly argument, I asked a friend if my eyes are more round or slanted. She said, "Well, when I see you, you're always high, so …."

  26. Me and an ex when i was in high school not only skipped school but got i to his brother's stash living in a college town that makes the roads near the college get really crowded and many are one way roads with side parallel parking too. We sat in the same spot fussing about the driver not taking there chance to turn at the stop sign for over 45 minutes. So he was driving road rage kicking in when started crying from laughing so hard. We should have left his brother's stash alone because the reason non of the cars were turning was when i finally noticed we had spent that 45 plus minutes sitting waiting for our turn on a one way street behind about 20 parked car with no one in them. So then we sat there another 20 minutes laughing at how it took that long to realize how dumb we were.

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