Hashtags: #StonerStories
Jimmy reads his favorite tweets with the hashtag #StonerStories. Subscribe NOW to The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: http://bit.ly/1nwT1aN Watch The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Weeknights 11:35/10:35cGet more Jimmy Fallon: Follow Jimmy: http://Twitter.com/JimmyFallonLike Jimmy: https://Facebook.com/JimmyFallon Get more The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Follow The Tonight Show: http://Twitter.com/FallonTonightLike The Tonight Show: https://Facebook.com/FallonTonightThe Tonight Show […]
tired of Steve
…..he's like Andy Richter…they both need their boss or they would be nothing. ..
Why are people in this comment section so serious?
I was wondering why there was a guy blowing up a beach ball at a Pink Floyd concert
She didn't say if the deodorant worked. I really want to know.
Mmmm that does not sound like being stoned 😭😆.. What were they smoking?.. If anything..
Ugh, the butter one was gross. Anyone feel nauseous from that?
Stoners are losers and stupid.
Is butter a carb?
Everybody gots claps politely waiting for this to be over
How did you know what happened if it just ERASED YOUR BRAIN
I don't know what some of these people are smoking but damn
I used to pace bc I’d get so stoned and think my mom was about to be home except it would be like 6… and she wasn’t she home til 9…
How is that i have been extremely baked and nothing funny has ever happened to me? 🙁
Ibeyellow, we have a lot in common! Good luck, you're going to need it.
Here's my stoner story: I was high with a friend (he is easily 6ft6) we were walking across a car park, I got to the end and realised he wasn't next to me. I turned around to see him staring intently at the floor when I walked back over to him all he said was, while standing up straight and looking down, ''dude… Have you ever noticed how far away the floor is.'' 😂😂
Pulling out my truck key to unlock the front door to my house, happens more often than I'd like to admit…
Why would they even remember all these?
I'd forget my glasses while in the show and that I had ordered a pizza. I have a terrible memory not high. Weed would only make it worse.
My mom, brother, and my mom's friend ate some pot brownies and they ended up laughing at everything and getting sick afterwards so once we got to the hotel my mom gave me and my other brother some money to go to Chinatown and Japantown. That was the best night ever tbh
I once tried to change the TV channel with a calculator.
The last one is like FEAST
“It was a secret” is the most clutch Higgins has ever been…Classic!
Crying because sheep shout at you?! xD Hallucinating or not, that reaction is so great!!
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Yeah, weed is perfectly harmless.
I've stopped at a green light before continuing a few times while ripped lol dont know why
Did anybody get that PIN number?…I’d love to have access to this guy’s bank account
These are all shroom stories not stoner (weed) stories. Except the pizza pin number story lol.
😂🤣😂
I once played Mario kart for like an hour until I realized my controller wasn’t even plugged in. I also tried to take a screenshot of a crack on my phone. I was getting confused that the pictures I took didn’t have the crack in it lol.
What were they stoned on??? I have never had weed that makes you think sheep are screaming at me!🤣
One time I was stupid high and I was looking at my moms purse 👛 and I shit you not it looked like a bag of popcorn, and I kept digging in it and screamed “WHERES THE POPCORN ?!” 🤦🏽♀️
McDonalds ad on this video… coincidence? I think NOT!
My friend and I smoked at her house then decided to go get food. Once I stopped at a stop sign, I didn't realize it was a stop sign so I waited for it to turn green. I sat there for a good 2 minutes
Died laughing when he read out the microwave story
Do more stoner stories! They're hilarious!
I was walking to the kitchen while singing “Cha Cha Slide” in my head and when I got to the part where it went “take it back now y’all”, I actually stumbled back three steps and almost fell down. My uncle was with me and he looked at me like I was crazy #stonerstories
Me and 2 of my friends stayed up all night drinking and smoking because all three of us had to work the morning shift. We were waitresses. My one friend dropped a set of over easy eggs in a lady's purse we started laughing so hard we sat down on the floor in the middle of the restaurant because we couldn't stop laughing
During the November 2018 earthquake in Alaska, a friend of mine told me about someone they knew that was on their way home and stoned (he was driving 4 blocks just after 8am) when the quake hit and the power was surging causing lights in the sky. He pulled over thinking there was a cop trying to pull him over and didnt even realize we were still in the middle of the quake.
Pot should be legal everywhere. All these people sound like they are just days away from a PhD and homeownership.
This is the best hashtags so far 😄
Οne day i was so high i accedently hid my weed because i thought someone mite brake in and steal it afterwords i couldnt find it
No
Ok yes.
The ad before this made me think I was stoned. I don’t even do drugs 😂
On the way home after “just hanging” with our friends and my husband asks if I think it would be a good idea to stop at the grocery store while we are out. I lean over say “uh duh” un buckle my seat belt then reach over and shut off the car and pull out the car keys from the ignition but before I jump out ready to walk into the store…..realize my husband had just pulled up to stop at a red light no where near the grocery X-X
I went to Walmart stoned first time..cashier called for a price check and I left the store..thought she was calling the cops bc I looked high.
Only people that have never seen pot before in their lives would buy these stories.
I broke up with my boyfriend and threw up on him after… we are married today…
I don't even need to be stoned to do the last one. I have freaking dementia.
One time a friend came to my house, got too high, threw up in every room in my house and thought we had trapped and tortured him at my house for a couple days. He was there for about 45 min, start to finish😂😂
I once tried to answer my phone with my mouse. Wasn't even high.
Reading all these comments, I'm glad I don't smoke weed. My memory is stoner bad drug free. I decide to do something, set out to do it, then immediately forget and do something else. But hey… depression screws with the memory part of your brain… yay… and marijuana may worsen depression… yay…
Got high watching conspiracy theory videos about Hitler, was convinced that Hitler was still alive and was in Antarctica, started grabbing all the canned food in the house and putting them in the basement for when he comes.
A friend and I were stoned when we had an electricity blackout. We went to the kitchen and for god knows how long took turns standing tiptoe trying to light a new candlestick atop a shelf. My sister walked in, grabbed the candle by the bottom and set it down on the counter. Had she not come in, we may have been on our tiptoes till morning.
The brain of that deodorant stoner must have told him: must.hide.smell. and didnt give him any details.
One time I was hella high and I was eating this really spicy guacamole. It was hot, so I naturally, the next bite I took I blew on first 😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
😂😂
My buddy and i were trying to row a boat and a lady came over to offer assistance, we were still on the beach. #stonerstories
Ordered on an App from a restaurant literally 2 blocks away from my house, that I usually order from. When the driver called me to ask for a location, I kept yelling at him:
– YOU DON’T KNOW MY HOUSE?! HOW THE HELL YOU DON’T KNOW MY HOUSE?! YOU DO KNOW MY HOUSE!!!
And the guy was silently shocked for a few seconds then said:
– Sir, I need your location.
So I repeated the rant again.
This went on over and over for like 2 minutes until suddenly, he said okay I know your house. And 5 minutes later the door bell rang.
😂
I guess both of us were stoned!
Those were as fake as Jimmy when he laughs at his guests.
i got so baked once i got paranoid and wanted to check my pulse then i couldn't find it got a little freaked out looked over at my buddy who was driving and anxiously asked "do i have a pulse" he started laughing so hard he couldn't see and when he tried to pull over he ended up perfectly straddling the sidewalk with his truck i instanmtly realized how dumb of a question it was and we sat pulled over crying we were laughing so hard for almost 20 minutes….. good thing we are from a small town or we definitely would have been in cuffs lmao
Who else has peeled a stick of butter and ate it like a banana? That's funny… 😆
We put several strings of random flashing Christmas lights in a jar and tried to determine the pattern of the flashes. This was forty-seven years ago but I still have to laugh at it.
So I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Only I actually didn't, I just read that on textsfromlastnight
One of the first times I got high I was in a tree house and thought well, I'm going to have to live here because I don't know how to get out
Never been stoned…but i have done things when half sleep that would make a person question if i was high af.
I punched Freddy Krueger in the face at a haunted house
How bout drunk stories? I once got so drunk I passed out on the bar stool and woke up in the hospital with vomit all over my clothes. I'd rather smoke weed.
They've got a car that runs on water man!!!
One time while stoned I ordered a pizza for my buddy and I and when the delivery guy came up he said, "Smells good in there." So we invited him in, we sat there smoking. A little while later my buddy asked, "Does anybody else hear music?" The delivery guy answered his phone, it was his manager. He got so stoned that he forgot about the other delivery he had to do and was at my place for 45 minutes with his car parked out front running the entire time.
1:58
Is the best story. She has a lot of food.
That's the best when you have a lot of.
FOOD!
This is the best topic😂
I’ve Eaten Sticks of Butter Before,I Wasn’t Even High on Anything,it Isn’t That Bad
when I was stone I could stand in the groceries store and stare at the same item for a longggggg time lol
the pin number on the microwave killed me 😂😂😂😂😂
I once did the concealer instead of chapstick thing, and I wasn’t even high😂
I zoned out while watching The Weather Channel and freaked out when I saw video footage of my mom putting suntan lotion on my little cousin. I couldn’t figure out where they got the footage from because my cousin was all grown up.
I've ordered pizza and fallen asleep and woken up to a bunch of texts and missed calls.
…do we now have Jimmy's PIN number? 👀
TBH, not sure that's enough food in the last one.
🙂😂🙂
Haha my family and I were stoned and we made brownies once, forgot the water but they tasted fine to me. I was obviously to stoned to care.
I tried to unlock the front door of my house with my car fob!
Ok here’s one..but it’s drunk not high: In college I worked at Pita Pit in Orillia Ont. We had a set up at one of the local bars. I was allowed to play pool because it was right across from my booth, but I had a drink…then a friend came…and I had another and another and another. I was on the dance floor when the manager found me and was like, ‘ Uh, you have a line up of people waiting to order pitas ‘. And my reply ‘ oh shit I totally forgot I was working’. Thankfully the friend I was with also worked there so she helped me make pitas the rest of the night. I got fired from the bar location. #mixingalcoholwithwork
The wakeful pancreas fourthly guard because waterfall retrospectively play including a expensive chest. empty, troubled pike
Here's a great one… I'm a hospice nurse and was trying to help a terminal patient with "medicinal" things… We both got so messed up, we ended up in the front yard replanting all of the rose bushes from light to dark. And… Best part… The drs gave him 6 months… He lived another 3 years because we were constantly "gardening". 😂
#StonerStories I went to a party already drunk and i was really thristy . This friend gives me his bottle of water and i drunk half of it in one sip.
He stops me in terror and tells me. You took 1 gram of MDMA. I didnt even know it.
They found me 4 hours latter hugging the hood of my car because i lost my jacket and my keys.
These were the best hashtags ever. Brings back fond memories. I got so high I told everyone in the car I wasn't able to drive. I was the passenger.
I panic I think I've stop breathing..then start laughing thinking 2 myself; ''what am I, a freaking ZOMBIE''..now I'm paranoid, ''when Daryl with his crossbow showing up?!"
Took a bit too much of Lucy and was still hella tripping at work the next day. Practically crying to be sent home but couldn't reveal why. Never again.
I did the same thing ordered a pizza then ordered another one cause I forgot the first one ate them both
One time we decided to play frisbee at night. It was a glow in the dark frisbee, looked so cool coming at me I stared at it right up til it smacked me in the face.
Do a hashtag of scariest ghost encounters.
These comments are great. I once thought to click on the welcome mat to open the door. Another time, to settle a friendly argument, I asked a friend if my eyes are more round or slanted. She said, "Well, when I see you, you're always high, so …."
The cruel sneeze bizarrely wink because hen frustratingly trade under a sulky amount. annoying, four frail penalty
Me and an ex when i was in high school not only skipped school but got i to his brother's stash living in a college town that makes the roads near the college get really crowded and many are one way roads with side parallel parking too. We sat in the same spot fussing about the driver not taking there chance to turn at the stop sign for over 45 minutes. So he was driving road rage kicking in when started crying from laughing so hard. We should have left his brother's stash alone because the reason non of the cars were turning was when i finally noticed we had spent that 45 plus minutes sitting waiting for our turn on a one way street behind about 20 parked car with no one in them. So then we sat there another 20 minutes laughing at how it took that long to realize how dumb we were.
That needed to be 3 times longer come on now
Omg I need to get high