Helicopters in games crash as often as Windows Vista trying to sync iTunes because if you could just chopper your way out of trouble without crashing, most videogames would be eight minutes long. Think of all the times you tried to helicopter your problems away, only you crashed because of course you did, and subscribe: http://www.tinyurl.com/SubToOxbox

Consider Left 4 Dead’s first campaign No Mercy, in which you slog your way to the rooftop of a zombified hospital, hail the News Chopper 5 rescue copter, fend off the undead until it arrives, then do an action-hero leap to board it.

What happens next, completely off-screen, is the pilot turns into a zombie, Zoey shoots him, and because none of the four survivors can fly a helicopter, they made an emergency landing that is 90 emergency and 10 percent landing.

Extra kudos to the unnamed helicopter pilot from 2013’s Tomb Raider, for managing to hold a helicopter steady enough for Lara Croft to jump into it from an exploding building during a supernaturally violent storm.

Sympathies, at the same time, for his family, on account of how that pilot gets killed when Lara forces him to attempt a doomed landing on the island of Yamatai to rescue her buddies.

The Call of Duty: Modern Warfare series, meanwhile, hates helicopters so much we suspect helicopters murdered its parents. How else to explain the non-stop copter crash fest that is the Modern Warfare oeuvre?

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